Will They or Won't They?

God I hope that New Orleans is salvagable.

I just can't imagine telling my grandchildren (or, fuck, my children for that matter b/c they probably won't remember it) about the city and about how it died after Hurricane Katrina hit it at the end of August 2005. I can't help but well up with tears when I even think about it.

My first trip to New Orleans was with Michael in 1994. I'm almost ashamed to admit it but I didn't even KNOW of New Orleans prior to meeting him. How pathetic, right? The birthplace of jazz, the cultural mecca, the place where the good times roll, the food, the people, the mix, the history. How I didn't know of it baffles me but I digress.

That first visit and I was sold. I wanted more and more and more. In 1996 I got more. We moved there. We lived there for two years and I'm sad that I didn't do more with my time there but I was also away from home for the first time in my life. I was newly married and it was all so different for me. I just didn't do enough. I didn't write enough. I didn't sit in enough coffee shops. I didn't make friends that I know I could have made. Dammit all.

After we got pregnant and decided to move back to NY, I mourned it. At one point I *almost* tried to convince Michael that we shouldn't move back but plans were already set in motion. I wonder how things would have turned out if we stayed. I wish we had. I wish. I wish. I wish. Wishes don't count for shit, though.

Everytime I've visited the city, though, I have felt at home. It was a place I felt so comfortable and so at ease. And, now it might be gone. It seems logical for it not to be rebuilt but what a fucking loss that would be. *sigh* And, now they say that our economy is going to be affected. I'm just so sick of it already. I'm thinking an asteroid sounds pretty good right now.

This is just so incredibly depressing. I really do have a glimmer of hope for New Orleans. Maybe the Quarter will be saved and New Orleans will just be a tiny community of people who chance living there. I dunno. Can we just fast forward a couple years already?