I Can Relate!

Free Sexy Shoes!!

Last week, when I was getting my Avon catalogs from Shelly, a lady from the Co-op walked up and asked, "Do either of you know anyone that wears a size 10 or 11 shoe?" and I cheerily replied, "I do!". She proceeds to hand me over 4 boxes of really nice shoes. She said, "if the shoe fits..." and lowe and behold, they did!

So, now I have four, nice and rather expensive shoes for free. I asked Shelly if she thought they were hot (not hot as in Paris Hilton hot but hot as in five finger discount hot) and she assured me that coming from this particular lady, they were in no way stolen hot.

Honestly, it's not beneath me to wear stolen shoes! I have a few stories I could tell from my former life as a kleptomaniac shoe thief, but I digress.

Here are my HOT SHOES:

Yeah, So Yay!

I've researched some stuff about body type, metabolism and lovely diet related stuff and turns out I'm a fucking "endomorph". Which really means that all I have to do is look at food and I get blobular. Nice!

So, I have to avoid sugary foods (duh!) and simple carbohydrates but everything else is fair game. This is gonna be fun. Oh and I have to eat every 3-4 hours.

/fat vent

Favorite Mornings!

This morning Michael and I both woke up early. At 6:30 the coffee was ready and we were sitting at our computers drinking out of our favorite cups, listening to our favorite songs and doing our favorite thing: Coffee/Computer Time!

I love these Favorite Mornings!

Seven Year Old Becomes Eight Year Old and then again I Have Another Seven Year Old!

Yesterday my daughter turned seven. She had gone camping with her Brownie troop over the weekend so that was a great celebration for her. She told me that she told everyone that it was her birthday and then she asked them if they would like to sing to her. Crassitude! I love it.

We took her out for her birthday lunch and she chose Chinese Buffet (her FAVE). So, we went and ate and I ate entirely too much sushi (the buffet has a sushi bar but I only eat the non-raw stuff).

Ya know, the boy doesn't seem any different to me. But, this seventh birthday for her in conjunction with the camping trip without us has grown her up a little.

"How does it feel to be seven?", I asked.

"Kinda cool. Kinda different. I like it!", she replied.

I love that girl. She's my favorite girl in the whole wide world. Sometimes she's hard to take with her screeching and whinyness but all-in-all she's the best little girl. She's sweet, sassy, loveable, caring, kind-hearted, beautiful and everything you want a little girl to be. She's equally a tom-boy as she is a girly-girl and I love that about her.

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!! YOU ROCK!

My Eight Year Old

Yesterday, my eldest son turned eight. Wow. I can't believe it. He's really a big boy now. And, what a great big boy he is. He's smart, funny, sensitive and cool. He's just a great kid and I am enjoying his grown-upness!

Happy 8th Birthday Big Boy!! You're THE BOMB!!!

The River, LIVE

The River
Live


It came without warning
A love like I ain't ever felt before
She's like my destiny calling
And she's laying there all naked on the floor
And suddenly, out of the blue she's singin'

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain tonight

She came without warning
Like an angel come from Heaven in the night
The kiss makes me tremble
So she pulls me close and she holds me oh so tight
Then suddenly, out of the blues she starts singin'

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain

I'll give you life

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain, yeah
Bring your burnin' skin to my river
Oh, to my river

Three Weeks

I have three weeks till I test for a new belt in Karate. I secretly wish that he would give me a blue belt, skipping yellow, but I will GLADLY take a yellow belt. The cool thing about it is that my parents will be here that weekend. So, they will get to see both Mikey and I rank test!

Three weeks to perfect both my Katas.
Three weeks to be able to relax in square stance for three minutes.
Three weeks to be able to stretch deeper.
Three weeks to work on my finger tip pushups.

EEK.

Having Children is Like Watching Your Heart Walk Around Outside of Your Body

And... Watching them spar in a Kumite match, at an AAU Championship Karate Tournament, is like being as nervous as a whore in church on Sunday. My goodness, gracious. I think I now have more grey hair than Taylor Hicks from American Idol.

He did good, though. He held his ground and finished in second place. A silver medal winner, my boy is! The same can't be said for his Kata competition. First things first, he went up against a boy from our school that is just awesome. He's a very strong and determined kind of boy. Mikey is strong and determined but in his own rite. Regardless, my boy got 4th place; that's nothing to scoff at. However, the look on his face was something else. He wasn't crushed as much as he was mad at himself for not placing. I thought he should have gotten, at least, 3rd place but 2/3 of the judges felt that the other boy did better. What do they know, anyhow?

Congrats and Big Props to our Big Boy! He's the cream of the crop as far as I'm concerned!!

The Future

You know, whatever [the future] holds is fine.

I am content with the knowledge that things that happen, happen for a clear and concice reason.

Life is really an open book with empty pages. The lyrics of that song I previously posted the lyrics to detail that. I don't know what I will write next but I know that since the rest is still unwritten that it can become whatever it will become.

This Is Where We Are All At

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Sometimes I Do This...

Yes, sometimes I disappear from whatever blogging/journalling program I am using. I tend to take these breaks b/c I really am too busy and that leads to a definitive quietness. It's not that I don't have anything to say, I'm just too tired and spent to say it.

Life is going pretty darn well. The kids are keeping me busy and every day, almost, we have something to do. From Karate to Story Time, we do it all. They are doing really well with their school work and learning a lot. This week they are going to learn about fractions more and division. They are also trying to get finished with six hours of reading time for the Six Flags Reading Program. It's very motivating and I guess I will have to think of things like this to keep the motivation high.

On Friday, the 17th, we had a little Valentine's Party here at our house. Michelle and her four children came, along with my friend Rene and her adorable daughter Emory. It was a real success. I really would like to throw more parties like this. Once a month parties, with a specific theme and dinner for the moms, to boot. Too cool. The main problem is this glorified apartment of a house that we live in.

My biggest hope is that Michael lands a good paying job in which he can fly OUT of Atlanta, so that we don't have to move. I really don't want to have to move from this area; we love it so. But, we'll have to do what we'll have to do and that's what it boils down to.

Anyway, I know I should write more. Time slips by and every day something happens that I think to myself, "I need to blog that" but I don't. I'll try harder. I promise.

Secret Agent Mama, Is It True Love?

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Meant for eachother
Your meeting was by	Chance
They are your	Hero
You are their	Shining star
Your love will	Never end
Quiz created with MemeGen!

1/26/06

Don't be afraid
Don't be scared
It's all going to work out
And, when you think it's
over you'll get hit again
But don't be scared
I'll be here with you
to help sort it out
I'll hold your hand
It will be all right
So don't be afraid
I promise

9-19-04

i want.
i need.
i should.
i could.
i can't.
i won't.
i feel.
i hurt.
i ache.
i love.
i must.
i see.
i don't.
i laugh.
i cry.
i stumble.
i emerge.
i clasp.
i clutch.
i rest.
i wait.
i walk.
i run.
i whisper.
i scream.
i am.
does it ever fucking end?

-MOL

4-20

I'm waiting for this profound moment
Not searching
Just waiting
I sit and day after day I wait
Nothing really happens
But yet I sit still
Words do not flood me
Moods frequently escape
And still nothing
It's like I'm waiting for
Something spectacular to fly out at me
I'll be damned if I even know what it is
My mind lingers
Intricate thoughts do not prevail
I feel mentally marooned
What the fuck am I waiting for
Everyone knows that you have to search
For reflection can't be given unless
You are willing to spread yourself
To see what it is your are really made of
Again
How am I to know
How am I to see
Because I wait
My soul seems empty
Motions are contented
Conversation flows
And I'm still waiting
I need to just stop waiting
Figure out what it is that needs to be
Smile
Breathe
But I should not wait
I'm postitive waiting is no good
To have a profound moment is to act
In this continuation we call life

Not 100%

I'm just so not feeling 100%. My head is heavy and my throat feels funny. I'm just not well. Because of it, I missed, what was bound to be, a great cardio class w/ Moe. Wahhhhh!!!! I'm going to try to rest and keep my fluids high so that I can go to Karate. But, if I'm not feeling well I'll probaby skip.

Sunday Morning Sun Is Shining

8:27am: I just sat down to a cup of coffee and I felt the desire to put music on. Except, not one artist came to mind that I would like to hear right now.

8:30am: I need music. What a predicament?

8:39: So I begin to search the net for some tunes and I'm turning up with a big, fat NOTHING.

8:42: My CD's stare at me and NOTHING. Meanwhile, my coffee's almost done. Shit.

8:54: Search harder.

8:57: Launchcast through Yahoo! it is.

8:58: First I have to listen to some commercials.

8:58: Still nothing.

9:00: More commercials.

9:01: Music is on but the coffee's gone.

Written in 2001

Where to begin? Hmmm...let's see...

First and foremost I am the only child to immigrant parents from Macedonian (Former Yugoslav Republic). They immigrated here in the late 60's and I am their only child, first-born in the USA. I was raised in a bilingual home and in me was distilled many traditions, the Orthodox religion and a heritage that is marvelous. I graduated high-school in the top 25% of my class and went on to college to study Biology (Pre-Med). However, when I met my husband online in May '94 my life went in a different direction. I realized that I didn't want to be a doctor after all and quit going to college after I dedicated three years to it. In retrospect I wish that I would have pursued the arts (literature, poetry, painting, etc) instead. But, that part of my life is over; Left to blossom later on...

In September 1995 I married my soul mate, Michael. He and I were inseparable from the beginning and above all he was (and is) my best friend. We had a very traditional Macedonian Orthodox wedding. It was wonderful and people still comment about our day. In July '96 we made a big decision and moved to New Orleans, LA (Michael is originally from the Baton Rouge area and has his family down there). Mostly the reason we moved was to get out on our own and to have some freedom away from my sometimes domineering family (LOL!). It was a great experience and even though at the time I was sad that I was away from all that I had ever known, I grew so much when we were there. I learned that I was a woman, first; a wife, second and a daughter, third. This realization was a big turning point in my life.

In August '97 we found out that we were expecting our first child. We had been "sort-of" trying to get pregnant and I even quit my Assistant Manager position at Sears Portraits Studio because we felt the stress of the job was keeping us from conceiving. I quit in February and just relaxed. When we confirmed the pregnancy we made another decision that changed our lives. We decided that a move back to the Buffalo area was needed. Both of us didn't want to live in the south any longer and more importantly we wanted the immediate support of friends and family (something that wasn't readily available in LA as Michael's family was an hour+ away). Moving back up to NY meant that Michael would leave a perfectly good paying job in LA but it also meant that we would be starting a family in a place that was familiar, with a good foundation. In September '97 we packed up and headed home. We were set to live in the garage apartment that my parents had.

To make a super long story short: Our first child was born on March 31, 1998.. It was a son, we named MFL III (affectionately referred to as Mikey). A few months later we were pregnant again with our second. Our daughter, OPL (Livey), was born on April 3, 1999. We were a family of four and doors were opening for Michael with his job situation. Life for us was good and then in January '00 we found out that we were expecting again. This threw us for a loop as it was a total surprise! We were wondering how we would live in the small apartment (a family of 5 with 2 dogs), how we would make ends meet and so much more. Not one month later our world was changing yet again. We got everything started to buy a house and Michael got a new job that paid him double from what he was making before. It was a fresh start and things looked so bright! On September 14, 2000 our second son, BOL (Benny), was born.. Only three days before we signed the papers closing the deal on our first family home!!!

In January of '01 Michael was laid off from his job.. It's been a struggle for us but through it all we remain strong in family, faith, love and hope....

Fast foward. 2006. Living in GA. Michael's a pilot. I'm a home schooling SAHM and life is really good save for the fact that we don't have much money in the bank. Oh well. Life really is good. Thank God.

Intersecting Beams of Light

There are people that come into your life and you don't even notice.
There are people that come into your life that have a spotlight shining on them.
There are times when it's dark with no hope of dimming.
There are times when it's dim with no hope of light.
There are moments in our being that should be forgotten.
There are moments we have that our heart leads us to remember.
These are my times with you.
The spotlight shining, the hopeful light, the rememberance;
They are all of you.