After I Hit Publish...

I am getting my sedentary, lazy ass up off this machine and work out. I'm going to do the Walk Away the Pounds DVD that I got from the library and maybe even follow up with the Pilates one I got.

Go. Me.

Success and Failure, in One Instant....

Christmas was quite the success! The kids liked all their stuff but would have liked them more if stupid Mama would have bought the gaht-damned batteries. ::googley eyes:: Failure at it's finest.

I Should Be Wrapping

But, I'm not. I have a feeling I'm gonna be pulling an all nighter on the 24th. EEK!

Pauline, You Will Giggle....

Olivia just said, "Wouldn't Piper look so funny if she had braces? She'd open her mouth to yawn and we'd see them sparkle and it will be really cute AND funny!"

I have no clue, Cuz. I seriously am stumped!

No Title Because I Feel Unwitty

So, today's Tuesday and as far as I'm concerned the week is just about over. Yesterday we had our friends (Michelle & kids) over. The kids did some wooden crafts that I got from Michael's and we visited, drank way too much coffee, smoked some ciggies and then we put together a lasagna. Kids don't have any real taste buds or culture and they didn't eat any of it. Well, except Caleb; that boy can eat a horse! After they left I made an executive decision NOT to go to Karate. Don't think it didn't about kill me. I love me some Kiyaing! But, I think I have somehow inflammed or pinched my sciatic nerve. My lower back kills but it feels better upon stretching it. I'm sure I would have been better off going to Karate but I wanted to give it a day to rest. We'll try and get there tomorrow, for sure.

Today I had invited Anne (& her boys) and Linda (& her daughter) over but have to renege on it. Mikey woke up feeling "pukey" and actually puked around 10am. Olivia is now complaining of a tummy ache, too. Luckily, it's only a 24 hour thing and Benny already had it. Long live viruses. Motherfuckers.

Tomorrow I have to pick up my Avon catalogs and we have to get our Ceramics to send my parents and give to Regina. Afterwards, we've been invited by Linda to McDonalds. She wants to buy us lunch for Christmas. I thought that was very nice and providing everyone is healthy, we'll go!

Thursday we have a Christmas lunch playdate with our newest friends; Maureen (Ben and Sophia), Rene (Emory), Kristen (MaKenna) and Heather (Gavin, Grayson, Griffin). We became friends with each other through Heather. The kids took soccer with Gavin in the fall of 2004 and then he took one session of Karate with Mikey at Central Park. Heather invited the kids to her birthday party for Gavin in the fall of this year and that's where I met Maureen and Rene. From there I was invited to another girl's birthday party and saw Mo and Rene again and they told me about their coffee meetings on Mondays (which is perfect since Michael is off on Mondays). Long story, short; we've made good friends. I'm thrilled. FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY, real like minded people with REAL personalities that do REAL things and LIVE in my city. Who'da thunk? LOL We're going to a NYE Party at Rene's house, even. I cant wait!!! So, back to the playdate. We're all pitching in. Maureen is hosting and we are gonna have crafts, food, sweets, the whole nine yards. It's gonna be wild.

Friday. I think I might get to rest and catch up on laundry. I'm caught up as of now but this won't last for long.

Saturday. We're going for Christmas Eve lunch to Regina and Tommy's. Laid back, good food, family... Should be nice. Wish my parents could be with us. :(

Sunday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY JESUS!!!!!

I've used up my exclamation marks for the day so now I will end this blogpost.

!! (ok, I had 2 more)

Christmas Decor - Check!

Today I got my bah-hum-bugged ass up the attic steps and I brought down the Christmas decorations. I decided on doing something different this year and I put garland on the posts of our front stoop. One one side of the door is a wooden wreath with Santa holding his "Merry Christmas" sign and on the other side is a wooden snow man holdind his "Let it Snow" sign. No chance of that, here in GA, but one can hope.

So, the tree will not be in front of the window this year. Instead I have opted to put it beside the mantle/fireplace, by the garage door. This way, it will be out of the way and will still iluminate the family room in all it's Christmasy splendor. The tree is not decorated because I wanted to do it right and the two strings of colored lights on white wire just wasn't doing it. One string is on the front window (just kinda hanging on the valance) and the other string is run, back-and-forth twice, on the mantle. It looks nice in the night time. The real test is to see how this looks in the daylight. If it looks cheesy, I will have no problem taking them down.

After we fight the crowds in Walmart, while purchasing our green wired Christmas lights, we'll come home and decorate the tree. Pictures to follow.

Maybe this will help me get out of the "I-don't-believe-it's-Christmas-already" funk that I've been in. Only time will tell, eh?

Happy Birthday Main Man

I've celebrated 12 birthdays with this man of mine! Wow! 12 birthdays. That's a lot.

1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 & now 2005!!

This morning I woke up early enough to get a cake baked and decorated. It was a little warm when he cut into it but it was very yummdillyummy!! The kids made him some cards and gave them to him while he was getting dressed. I told the kids to come once he was ready to walk down the hall to get his coffee/lunch. We lit the candles and sang as soon as he rounded the corner! Our special little birthday party for Papa!!

Happy Birthday Michael! I hope that wish you wished comes true. I loveth thee.

Encouragement

"I can see Karate in your eyes!"

Spoken to me by Sensei Dan as I shook his hand after class.

KeYa!!!

I Hold it Dear to my Heart, too!!

What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go (there’s a heart).
There's a heart. A hand to hold onto.
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go.
There’s a face of somebody who needs you.
Everywhere you look,

When you’re lost out there and you’re all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look. Everywhere you look.


Sponge Bob Square Pants' Christmas Special went off and ass soon as it did I hear the three infamous bars of this song... Mikey exclaims, "OH I LOVE THIS SHOW THE BEST!!!"

Rock on Full House. You are spanning generations. Generations, I say!!

"A library is thought in cold storage." - Herbert Samuel

Today we dropped Olivia off at Gymnastics and I decided that instead of sitting around in the gym that I'd take the boys to the bank, deposit some Avon checkage, and then we'd go to the library.

Backstory:

Before we left for Buffalo in October we had a gazillion books to return. I had pulled up our account history of what was due and we had every book accounted for, save one. This one that was no where to be found just happened to be about Pilots. I made the kids look for that book for hours before we left to return them, to no avail. Mikey swore, up and down, that we returned it the week prior. I wasn't too convinced but had to let go of it. After all, the very next day we were trekking up north and really what could I do? So, we went in to the library and I metioned to the librarian that we couldn't find this book and that the eldest boy could have sworn that it was returned. She said, "That's not a problem. We'll just suspend this book in the system. If you find it, bring it back." Sure thing, mama!

We had one more book that was forgotten at home and since it was so late I asked Michael to return it for us. He said he would; said being the operative word. Lowe and behold, we return home and the Rhino book was still on the counter. Michael had forgotten to take it back. Late fee. Then, a few hours later, as the kids were preparing for slumber I hear "OH BOY!" and the kids run up to me. Mikey was carrying something but I couldn't quite make it out until he held it up and I could see, it was the Pilot book.

"Uh, Mama, we forgot that this was under all the stuffed animals on Benny's bed!"

"You forgot?"

"Yeah."

"But I had you scour the whole house for this specific book. Did. I. Not?"

"Yes, but, uh, we, uh, forgot it was there."

At this point I told the kids that they would be responsible for the fines on this book. Which were looking at about $5.00. They were unhappy but it was their fault.

Fast forward to today.

I go to pull into the library and I hear Mikey mutter something. For all I know he could have said "Oh Shit" but he really said "Oh No". He went on to tell me that he didn't have his money and what about all the fines and how were we gonna take books out if, yadda yadda yadda. I told him not to worry about it and that we'd eventually pay the fine. No problem.

We get our books. We go to check out and the librarian says, "You have an outstanding fine." Mikey gulps and I say "I know but we can't pay it right now." and she tells me that it's ok if we pay it next time. [This next part could have happened in slow motion for all I know] I ask, "How much is the fine?" and she responds with "foooooooooooooorrrrrrttttttyyyyyyyyyy ceeeennnnttttssss". OMG, fourty dollars? No, fourty cents? WHAT? What the hell? Phew. Ok.. Really? Yes, really. **wipes brow**

I look over at Mikey who is looking at me all relieved and all I could think was, "What a bunch of lucky fucks we are!"

December is Flying By

It is so unbelievable to me how fast time goes by, now-a-days. I mean, when I was little time passed by so slowly.

In two days it's Michael's birthday and as soon as that passed we're in the double digit days and soon enough we'll be waking up to open presents. I'm done with shopping for the kids but I need to get some fleece to make Benny a octopus pillow case. I have exhausted all avenues looking for an octupus pillow so I have decided to make one, myself, by cutting fleece and making a knotted pillow case. Should be fun! LOL Maybe I should make pillows for all three. That's a little gung-ho, though!

It's Holiday Party Time!!

Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah..

I am so freakin' excited I can hardly stand it. Tonight a mom's group I belong to is having it's annual holiday party. I am so excited. Did I say that?

I have a nice outfit. I know how I want to do my hair. I bought some Sally Hanson Hair Removal cream (yes I need it). The only thing I need to do is make the Mexichilli and get ready.

Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah..

The Ant Graveyard

One of the most annoying things about living here is that we have ants that come in and scavenge the kitchen countertops for food. And, not only do they do this and force us to bag and twist-tie everything that they can get into but they also get in the back bathroom (the one in our bedroom). It's absolutely crazy.

The most baffling phenomenon is "The Ant Graveyard" that has developed in the hall bathroom (the kids' bathroom). You can go in there, at any given time, and see the carcasses of dozens of ants. Even more baffling is the one or two ants that roam around, aimlessly, picking up their dead friends' bodies. Ant God only knows where and what they do with the empty shells of what they used to be?

Yeah. Ants. They are the suck.
Yeah. Ant Graveyard. It's just a little freaky.

Some Famous Dedo Quotes

One time Dedo Mite was telling Michael and I about his coworkers (he was a mechanic for big trucks) and how they would eat lunch and belch. He said it was so disgusting and he hated it so one day he let a big assed fart rip.

Some guy said, "Hey Mike, that's gross!"

Dedo Mite retorted, in only a way he can retort, "Eh, some people dey burp in da mouth en some people dey burp in da ass. I burp in da ass."

Michael and I lost it!! To this day we use this quote. Long live burping in the mouth...and the ass!!

After we were married Baba and Dedo kept my bridal announcement on their fridge.

One day I was over and Dedo and I were at the fridge and I said, "Look at that nice bride!"

Dedo put his arm around me, squeezed, pointed at the picture and said, "Purty gurl, purty picka!" I busted a gut laughing and he walked away red-faced.

The big deal is that the word "picka" is pronounced "peachka" and it means "pussy". See?

More famous Dedo quotes:

" Hey Big Boy "
" Is my medicine " (referring to his moonshine)
" Shuddup Milevo! "

Best. Damn. Muffins.

I had three mushy bananas and added those to 2 boxes of this muffin mix. Oh. My. God. High in fiber and healthy and no skimpin' on the taste. The kids and I just ate one, kinda warm, and I could probably eat the 8 that are left over but then that wouldn't be too healthful. But, oh boy, I see weekly muffin making in my future. Maybe I could shred some veggies (zucchini, carrots) really fine in my food processor and trick Benny. Hmmmmmm.... Things that make you go, "hhhhhmmmmmmm"...

Where Do Kids Get These Stupid Ideas From?

I made some popcorn for the kids while they watch their movie. I walk in to refill my big-big cup o' water to see Mikey crushing the popcorn in his bowl with the end of his light sabre.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making small popcorn!" ::smiles with pride::

"Dude, are you kidding me?"

If you could see me now you'd see me shaking my head in total, utter disbelief.

I had some stupid ideas when I was a kid. Like, hide-and-go-seek-in-the dark! Who's the brainiac that came up with that one? I mean, come on, it's pretty inevitable that someone's gonna get hurt. I did once in my cousin Mike's basement in South Buffalo and that ended with a trip to Our Lady Victory and stiches to the forehead. Or how about the time that Kelly Phillips and I decided to be cops and robbers and she had to chase me through my bedroom window. We got outside and then we couldn't get back in. We rang the doorbell and I recall having my ass handed to me, in front of Kelly, for proposing such stupidity AND actually following through with it. Or how about the times (yes, times, plural) I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman and I'd climb up on the copper tube that extended from the hot water hearter, in the basement. Oh what a genius. Years later I told my dad and he almost choked me. Hey, or how about the time I decided to decontaminate the water jug from the fridge by filling it with soap and water and leaving it on the counter. I mean, that's a disaster waiting to happen; like, your dad drinks it and chases you around a 1000 square foot house exclaiming, "I'm gonna get you, PICKU MATER".

Seriously, where the fuck do kids get these ideas from?

RIP Mr. Miyagi

"Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished, just like grape. Same here. You karate do "yes," or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so, squish", just like grape. Understand?"

I'm So Bored It Hurts

It's not like the kitchen doesn't need cleaning, or the laundry doesn't need to be completed, or this big basket of socks that we aimlessly search through daily for socks doesn't need to be put away, or the home schooling shelves don't need to be organized, or the garage doesn't need to be cleaned, or the sheets don't need to be changed, or the tables and shelves and pictures and knick-knacks don't need to be dusted, or the Christmas cards don't need to be written out, or the house vacuumed with the ever-beautiful-new-vacuum-cleaner, or the dishwasher emptied, or like I don't need to exercise, or take the kids to the park, or go to the death-trap-of-a-store-Walmart to buy a birthday present for one of the countless children's party that we get invited to, or like I don't need to mow the lawn just one last time, or bring the Christmas decorations out of the attic, or, or, or, or, or, or....

And, despite these countless things I COULD BE DOING, I'm still bored. I don't want to clean the kitch, do the laundry, sort the socks, organize shelves, clean the shithole garage, change the sheets, dust, write, vacuum, empty the dishwasher, exercise, go to the park, go to the death-trap-of-a-store-Walmart, mow the lawn or get the Christmas stuff out of the attic.. I don't wanna. And, here I sit, while the kids watch Star Wars, BORED OUT OF MY FREAKING MIND thinking about ways I could go eat some Chinese food and totally BLOW my diet for the week. Blargh!

Thanksgiving

I think this Thanksgiving takes the cake for the most relaxed, most laidback and most different. I got up around 7:30, put on a pot of coffee, got the kids some milk and Ovaltine, sat down at the PC for a few with my coffee, got Michael up, got ready and we left the house about 20 after 10. We got to my mother-in-law's house at about 11:30am and set out to the Marietta Diner. I had the best cup of seafood bisque and it has spurred an interest in making my own. The kids' plates were really fit for adults and the traditional plates that we had (Regina & I had turkey and all the trimmings, Michael had roast lamb, Mr. Tommy had baked ham) were overfull. And, boy-oh-boy, was it ever good. We went home with 4 to-go boxes and we actually got into them later on, at home, and made ourselves sick doing so. After lunch we went back to the in-laws' house and I tried to feel comfortable but my belly was too distended and I actually felt better to stand than to have a seat. About an hour later we piled up in the truck and came home. The rest of the day was spent lounging around while the kids played and we talked to my parents and grandparents, too. I got online and roamed all the empty boards. At about 7pm I fell into the bed and power-napped for 1/2 an hour. I woke up, just in time, to get the kids bathed and ready for SURVIVOR! After that we threw the chi'ren in their beds, said prayers and kissed them nigh-nigh! The rest of our night was spent belly-achin'. Lesson of the day (which I'm sure many learned the hard way): DO NOT OVEREAT!

Ugh

Lately I feel that I can't take a good picture to save my fucking life. I mean, I used to be able to turn the camera around on myself and get a great shot and now all I get is shit. It must be a psychological thing. That's it! I have mental issues.

Thinking Out Loud

Or better known as writting down my thoughts!

Christmas Gifts

Mikey:
Ball & Glove
Football
Basketball
GI Joe Sigma Six

Olivia:
Easel
Paints & Brushes, Charcoals, Sketch Pad
Latch Hook Kit
Sky Dancer

Benjamin:
Big Octopus
Octopus books & a shirt
Aquadoodle
Sir Danju Knight's Kingdom

So I Lied, Sue Me!

Yes, I cut my hair!

HOWEVER, I did it for the sake of style and not shortness. I actually found a great hairdresser and she did a great job. This picture is after my hair dried almost 75% by air. When I blowdry it it will be much less wavy but the wavy works with the style.

I'm diggin' it.

The Gooey Geyser

I don't know, but all I heard was "Hey get on my back and ride "The Gooey Geyser".

Honestly, I don't know where they get these things from. *looks around*shrugs*giggles*

Someone, please kill me now....

Olivia has lost a plastic saber tooth tiger.
The world is ending.
She has been begging Mikey to help her look for it for hours now.
I have wine in the fridge.
Drinking it would at least make me numb.
Otherwise, I might call a friend.
TO PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY!

*shake*shake*

When you drink too much coffee you shake.

Spots on the Nose are SUPPOSED to be a Sign of Intelligence in Dogs...

BUT NOT FOR SADIE! Ugh.

I just let the dogs out to pee/poop. Summer took care of her business and came in. Sadie, however, felt the need to traverse down the hill. Fine. She usually poops down there. Well, one minute I see her and the next I don't so I walk down, calling her all-the-while. No response. Finally I see her and she's choking down something. Oh Mah Gahd. What the fuck could she be eating? I high-tail it. I see her eating bread from a store bag, the plastic kind. What? So, now I'm yelling and throwing pine cones, acorns, grass, whatever at her to get her away from it. I go to climb up the hill to smack her away from it and I tumble, backwards and land on the left side of my face. Nice. Real. Nice. Finally, I get up the damn hill and pull her away only to find that the bread is moldy. Ugh. Stupid. Stupid. Studid. I push the bread with a stick that I found through the gate of the basketball court, close the gate and slide back down the hill and get Sadie back up to our driveway.

So now, I'm wodering if she'll get diarrhea from the mold. Michael says these things always happen to me but they don't. I just take the dogs out more than he does. Grrrrr...

My question is this: WHO THROWS BREAD INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S YARD AND WHY?!?!?!!?!!?! Fuckers.

Rock On O'Eldest Son O'Mine!

I'm playing various MP3s on the PC and playing right now is Headstrong by Trapt. Mikey is digging it. Yeah, my son likes good music!! Well, no he doesn't b/c he disses DMB every chance he gets (LOL) but at least he knows that this song ROCKETH!

Hair

This is the first time in years that I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to cut my locks. I do hereby declare that I will grow my hair out until it is long and lustrous!!

Long Live Borat

"I want to do a romance inside of you."

"In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis..."

"If you come back with me to my country,(....) I will give you television and remote control..."

"Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp or make jam. But the most fun is to kill a a little animal with a shotgun or rip him up with a wild dog."

"There is land of opportunities in US of A. For man, construction work, taxi driving and accountancy. For woman, as a prostitute."

"We say in Kazakhstan, "Woman who goes with book is like horse without...Saddle.""

"We say in Kazakhstan, "You find me woman with brain, I find you a horse with...Wings.""

"In America, women can vote but horse cannot! It is the other way around in my country."

"I am very strong physique and I can hold a very large woman down for 3 hours...I am strong, I can throw rock at a gypsy from 15 metres. 10 metre if I am chained up."

I Have Officially Grown Up

My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas and upon serious thought I told her that I wanted and needed a new vacuum cleanerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (my r key is sticking sporadically; sue me!). So, we discussed possibly taking a vacuum back with me after our fall visit but I had so much stuff to lug back that I asked her if we could do a gift card or something and I could just buy it here. She agreed, no problem what-so-ever. So, last week she called to tell me that Kohl's was running a special on various bagless models. I bought the paper (I'm trying to clip coupons to help save money) and parused the ads. I saw the Bissell that Kohl's had and it met all the requirements I had for a new vacuum. I told herrrrrrrrrr of it and the next day I went and got it.

Fast forward to yesterday. I took the new, dearly beloved, sparrrrrrkly, beautimous vacuum out of it's box and screwed in the handle and looked over the little book and I plugged it in and I began cleaning. Oh. Mah. Gahd. I think I had an orgasm. It was WONDERFUL. There's these two buttons on it and when the place you are vacuuming is dirty the rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred light will shine and then when it's clean a green light will shine. How cool is that? There were patches of carpet that were so infested with dog hair, human hair, dust and general microscopic shit that I went over the spot like five times before the green light told me to go on. By the time I vacuumed the whole house (half-assed, mind you) my bagless container was full of compacted grossness. I was appauled. But, the house was clean and a new smell emerged. Our house doesn't really smell like dog (at least I don't think it does but it might) however the new, clean smell was wonderful. Truthfully, I can't wait to pull it out again and if Michael weren't home sick today I would've already done used it again. Hopefully he'll be well enough so that I can get a few minutes of vacuuming in tomorrow morning.

There you have it. I'm a grown up. I got really excited over a vacuum cleaner. I bragged about it at Olivia's Girl Scout meeting. I called friends and told them about it. I spoke to a stranger about it. I even dreamt about this vacuum, last night. Now I've blogged it. I'm fucked. Really I am. "I don't wanna grow up, la la la la la la..." Oh well, it was bound to happen sometime.

Now I'm off to iron. Because, oh yeah, my mom gave me money for a new iron, too. It's a Rowenta. Apparently the best on earth. We'll see how it compares to the Bissell (which btw is NOT in the garage b/c it has it's own special place in a closet - I was not about to have my lovie in a cold garage now, was I?).

Email From My Sempei

Mishelle,

You did a great job tonight. You are getting to be such a pro! I know you are smiling right now.

Nikki


Go me, go me!!

How Do You Spell That?

"Is this your grock in the toilet?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"I just looked down and thought 'Ahhh it's an oyster'."

[giggle]

"How do you spell that? Grock? G-R-O-C or G-R-O-C-K?"

"G-R-O-C-K."

"Thanks."

Vonderful Vino

I am enjoying myself some vino tonight. Three quarter of the way through my first glass I am feeling FINE. My face is warm and my brain is starting to tingle a little. Vino is vonderful.

Go Me!

I made The. Coolest. Friend. Yet.

God, I don't know how He does it but He puts these people out in front of us that we are just meant to be friends with. Today I met a lady at the park after a birthday party we attended. We walked the park which was great exercise and while her son walked with my crew, she and I talked about TONS of stuff and we talked as if we had been friends all our lives. It's remarkable, actually.

I feel really lucky. Really lucky.

Avon and Little Girls

"Mama, where is that Avon book you gave to that lady today?"

"Uh, I gave it to the lady."

"No, where is the one ... LIKE it!"

"Oh, it's on the countertop in that box."

[pitter patter of feet running to countertop]

[pitter patter of feet running back to my room]

"Is this it?"

[look at catalog]

"Yep"

"I want to order something."

"Honey, I don't want you to order anything from there."

"But I have my own money."

"That's fine but why don't you just save it?"

"Because I want to buy something."

[spot IKEA catalog]

"OH LOOK a book just like Avon but for FURNITURE!"

[Avon catalog crashes to floor]

"Can I order something from HERE?"


DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE, DOES IT EVER END?

Happy Blah Grumble Grrr

I love how Halloween is over by 3 minutes and the stores are setting up their Christmas displays and how on the TV we are bombarded with Christmas music and gift-giving options. Makes me ill, quite honesty. We haven't even cut the Thanksgiving turkey or put the whip cream on the pumpkin pie and Santa's sitting in the local mall. Sure, egg on the kids to perpetuate greedy little bastards. Yes, that's harsh but that's what they become - Greedy Little Bastards! I have GLBs of my own even, though I try my hardest to teach them to appreciate what they have and to love the season for what it truly beholds.

This holiday season my goals are to gather friends, cook and bake, do crafts, enjoy music and movies of the season and advocate togetherness. I'm thinking about what I can do to get all the children we have befriended together. My house is small but I think I want to open it up and have a Kids' Christmas Party. I say thinking b/c in some way life takes twists and turns and all my plans get turned into mush. So, while I have good intentions they are still in the works. Wouldn't it be nice, though, to make some nice eats and have friends over. My dream is to own a house someday that will be able to be opened up to all our friends for a holiday party. I'm convinced I could through the bombity-bomb of parties!

No Shit Sherlock!

FUNNY BONES ARE NOT FUNNY! (Yes, I'm yelling)

The Wonder of Pony Tails

"Mama, I love your hair."

"Really? Why?"

"It's just so beautiful!"

"You think?"

"Yep!"

"Thank you, Benjamin."

Back Home From Home

I'm glad to be here, too. Time to get back to the grind of daily life. However, I needed this trip. Mentally, I needed it and physically I need to be here now. It's time to lose weight, get rolling on from review to new material with the kids, time to possibly get involved in new things, time to get healthy and exercise again, time to snap out of previous funks.

I would like to try to do a daily visit log from my time "home". While it was mellow I got to see all those that I WANTED to see. Purpose of trip fullfilled.

Retraction

In a previous post regarding who would play various people in my life on the bigscreen I said that my DEAR, BELOVED, EVER FAITHFUL COUSIN PAULINE would be played by Camryn Manheim. While I do believe that Ms. Manheim is qualified to play my DEAR, BELOVED, EVER FAITHFUL COUSIN PAULINE I do not believe she is right for the part.

Two actresses that are vying for the part are Maggie Grace (Shannon of ABC's Lost) and Lisa Kudrow (Valerie of HBO's The Comeback). I'm sure whomever fills my DEAR, BELOVED, EVER FAITHFUL COUSIN PAULINE'S part will bring her to life and people will question if Pauline was indeed cast as herself. That. Believable.

;)

Sitting, Drinking, Smiling

I'm sitting here listening to my LAUNCHcast and the boys' door opens and I hear little footsteps. I look up and I see a smiley lil' boy.

Me: "What are you so smiley about?"
Lil' Boy: "You!"
Me: "You're so smiley because of me?"
Lil' Boy: "Yep, because I love you!"

What a good morning, already. Let's keep it up!

booyakasha!

so, me is gettin ready to leave fa dis trip up norf. me is fit excited to check everyone but da worst part is dat i ave to drive da 14 ours up there. me is currently in trainin fa early wakin on friday. wakin up early sucks but somebody's gotta do it.

today me is goin to natta dig ali g. it's wicked, borrow it a try.

Annual Changing of the Closets is Under Way

And, it's giving me a headache from h-e-double-hockey-sticks! Seriously, it's such a task but once it's done, it's done. I already have a bin full of old clothes that need to get given away (I'm going to donate them to a hurricane relief charity).

The worst part of this is that I have to wash all of the clothes and then pack them for our upcoming trip to NY. I think I might just forget our clothes and then my mom can take us on a shopping spree. Then I won't have to worry about packing or anything.

I'm Sick and Tired of Being FAT!

I just feel fat and blah lately. I know that it's a direct result of the food choices *I* have made in recent weeks but it's still sickening. Why do I have to be one of these predisposed people that gains weight easily? Why do I have to work at this so hard and why do I feel like such a failure? I lost a total of 70lbs by April 2004 and since then 30lbs of it have crept back on. :::PUKE:::
I need to:

1) get back to regular exercise (walking, karate, pilates and yoga)
2) eat better
3) drink more water &
4) take my vitamins, daily

By NEW YEAR I would like to have dropped, at least, 20lbs. It's TOTALLY do-able! Now I just gotta fucking do it.

It's About Damn Time

I went to Walmart today and actually bought some vacuum bags. This meant that I, indeed, HAD to vacuum. So, after many weeks of dog hair accumulating and dust collecting, I vacuumed. I did the corners, the couches, the fans, the you-name-it.

Now I have to mop and clean the toilets, tomorrow, and I'll be all set.

Ironic

An old man aged 98
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's the black fly in your Chardonnay
It's the death row pardon 2 minutes too late
Isn't it ironic
Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just can't take
And who would have thought
It figures

Mr Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
Packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take this flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought 'Well isn't this nice'
And isn't it ironic
Don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just can't take
And who would have thought
It figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's ok
And everything's going alright
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong
And everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams and the meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic
Don't you think
A little too ironic
And yeah I really do think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just can't take
And who would have thought
It figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Dear Coffee,

Thank you for warming my hand. Thank you for making me feel nice and warm. And, thank you for waking me up.

I know that for many years I neglected you. I turned to cold bubbly caffeine drinks with massive sugar. That was wrong! To think of all the time I wasted ordering double-doubles and mochas from Timmy's. To think of all the sugar packets I added to my cup at Perkins. To think of all the mornings & nights I spent drowning myself in Coke and Pepsi. Oh, how I did you wrong.

Now, I know better. No longer do I mask your ambrosial flavor. No longer do I seek to defy your very existance. And someday I will seek to pay respect and homage to you in the ownership of my very own shop dedicated to your greatness.

Your Dedicated Consumer,
Me

Written by Dr. Bob Moorehead

The paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider
freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have
bigger houses and smaller families, more
conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but
less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too
recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get
too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read
too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our
values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate
too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have
trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We
write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to
wait. We build more computers to hold more
information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion, big men and small character, steep
profits and shallow relationships. These are the
days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier
houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick
trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a
time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit
delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will
grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with
your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and
your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and
an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time
to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Desperate Need

This house needs a total and complete cleaning. I have never let the condition of the house get to this point. This is beyond ''weekend house''.

My kitchen needs mopping.
The carpet needs vacuuming.
The mantel, tv stands and window sills need dusting.
The bathrooms need detoxification.
3 bushels of laundry need to be sorted and put up.
Fall clothes need to replace summer clothes.

And, yet, I have no gumption. No will. No desire. Nothing. But, dammit, we have cake!!

Curve Ball

It's amazing how one day you could think to yourself that you are done with something and then the next day you realize that you aren't done and you want to pursue it some more. Life. Is. Crazy.

It's quite crazy how life throws you a curve ball and when you catch it and throw it back your mind has changed. Sometimes the ball's not a ball at all, it's a water balloon, and it explodes in your hands and all you're left with a wet face. And, no matter how much you try to dry it, it's still dripping.

Vie Est Fou!

FOU, je se dire!

Mama's Mission

Go to Blockbuster.
Rent movies.
Come home and pop massive amounts of popcorn.
Melt butter.
Mix popcorn, butter and salt.
Sit.
Watch.
Munch.

Not a Good Week

I request a do-over. I'm just really tired, cranky, painful and upset. I just really want to rewind or TiVo past it.

However, the kids are my lifeline in this misery. They make me laugh, smile and help me forget the shit week I've been having. For instance, Olivia continually shows me that she is a giving, nurturing and bright spirit. The day before yesterday she spent a lot of her time making various drawings. She collected them all in a brown paper bag and vowed to give her artwork out to people she met in our everyday travels. I mustered through my pain, yesterday, and took Mikey to Karate and Olivia decided that since there were many parents at the dojo that she would hand out her art there. She was so intensely sweet doing it that it just made me realize what a blessing God gave us, in her.

So, yes, I'm not having a good week. But, at least I have three happy little pills running around the house to make me feel better.

Child Predators

They are SICK TWISTED FUCKERS. My God, this makes me so mad.

I'm watching Oprah about this and it's very scary.

I Feel Shitty

I feel shitty,
Oh, so shitty,
I feel shitty and cruddy and not right!
And I pity
The girl who is me tonight.

I feel disgusting,
Oh, so disgusting
It's alarming how disgusting I feel!
And so icky
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the gloomy girl in that mirror there:
Who can that cheerless girl be?
Such a sad face,
Such a wrinkled dress,
Such a melancholy smile,
Such a shitty me!

I feel somber
And weepy,
Feel like running and dancing away....

Change is Good

Who said this, anyway?

Well, hopefully they were right. Actually, so far, all the changes I have gone through have been good and led by God. I hope and pray that any and all changes continue to be so.

Love and marriage. Love and Marriage, Go together like a horse and carriage....

It's unbelievable that I've been married for 10 years now. I think back to that morning before we got married and how it was going to be the most exciting day of my life at that point. And, when it was all said and done it went by too fast. But, now look at us. Ten years down the road, three kids, a couple moves, happiness and love.

I'm so still in love with this man I call my husband. And, I'm so thankful for the blessing that I have in him.

Can't Buy Me...

I seriously do not need money to be happy. Seriously.
I'm not one of these women who needs to shop daily, weekly or even monthly.
I don't have name-brand needs. I'd love some higher end clothes but they are way over-rated.
I don't really care that I'm driving about in a crappy van. I am driving around, after all and at least.
I don't even need to go on vacations to feel good. Let's grab the tent, a cooler and head for the mountains.

But.....

If money can't buy you happiness then why are [we] so fucking miserable without it?

Insane People go to Parks, too!

Oh what interesting people we encounter while out and about, in everyday life.

Today, the kids and I had a home school group playdate at a local park. One mom, my friend Shelly (you are right in assuming that almost everyone I am friends with has the name Michelle or a derivative thereof), and I were talking.

I said, "Did you hear the way he was talking to them!", referring to some man and how rudely he was talking to his boys on the basketball court behind us.

She shook her head and said "gotta love it", to acknowledge and at that time this older woman and her toddler (could've been grandson, could've been son) were at the water fountain.

The woman said, "You aren't being smart-alecy again, now, are you?" and we just looked at each other puzzled. She said, "You know it's GETTING OLD!" and Shelly begged her pardon. The woman started walking past and said, "I get it everywhere I go, why can't you just be quiet?"

At this time I said, "We have no idea what you are talking about. Care to share?"

She replied, "No, what were you talking about?"

I stated, "We were commenting about the way this man was talking to his boys."

She kept on walking and said, "Whatever!"

OMG, that was -like- totally strange. Shelly questioned what was wrong with this woman and I said, "I have no clue but apparently she's got a chip on her shoulder."

Just goes to show that insane individuals are allowed to roam the parks, freely. I mean, we were there, right?

I'm Melting, Meltiiiiinnnnggg..

There's nothing like the unconditional love of a dog and, boy-oh-boy, Sadie's love is unmeasured. She is loyal, loving and just a good ole dog.

But, woooo-dawgie, that girl's got some stank-ass breath. Don't get me started on her paws.

She plops her self in front of me, her mouth gaping, panting. She lifts her front paws on me and I'm double stankified. I just don't think she knows how putrid these smells are.

Note to self: Self, go to the store and get this dog some denta-bones, doggie toothpast and give her a fucking bath!

Lord Have Mercy Upon Me

I will be leaving for Karate in less than a half an hour. I pray that my poor body can take a Sensei Ben beating.

Original Blog Posts!!

I got them back! Robin at Blogger RULZ!!!!!

One Fan & One Actor

I wrote this post at The Fuselage (a LOST site) in the "For Terry O'Quinn .... John Locke" forum:

Dear Mr. O'Quinn,

I am just writing to say that you are a supurb actor. When I started watching LOST I was giddy with excitement that you were one of the main characters. I knew the show was bound for greatness.

My husband and I were diehard fans of MILLENIUM and Chris Carter, in general, but we were really heart-broken when the show's plug was pulled. We have always felt that it was, infact, "killed" because Y2K was upon us and the show was hitting on some seemingly controversial matter. What's your take or knowledge of why that late great show was cancelled?

Also, I would like for you to know that we often refer to "Peter Watts" around here and we say it the way you said it in the series (P-eh-ter Vatts). Your portrayal of him will never be forgotten.

Sincerely,
Mishelle

I wrote that yesterday morning. Yesterday evening I checked back to get this response. TOO COOL!!

I heard it was some political in-house thing at FOX, Mishelle, or maybe CC was gettin' to big for his britches. I don't know, but that show could have gone on for a while. I liked the first season better than the second. TPTB (the powers that be) were afraid it was too dark and brooding. I thought that was the whole idea.Glad you're liking LOST, though.

Terry

Friends

I love making new friends! Since moving to Georgia I have made so many and I'm so thankful for it. Yesterday the kids had a birthday party to attend. There were about 10 other kids there with their moms. A few of us really clicked and we stood around the kitchen island talking for what seemed like hours.

Renee is a former Seattleite, Maureen is a Jersey Girl whom has strong ties to the west coast. These two along with myself and the birthday boy's mom, Heather, just gabbed and gabbed and gabbed and gabbed. At the end we all exchanged numbers/emails and we are planning to meet for coffee. Out of all the women at the party I really felt a strong connection to these two women. It's wild, really. We just talked and laughed, as if we have known each other for years.

Michael's Angel Flight

Written on Sunday September 25, 2005:

Michael was supposed to be home before 2pm yesterday; we had a birthday party to attend. But, yesterday morning, while at Mikey's Karate Demonstration at Play in the Park Michael called to tell me that he and another pilot are making an Angel Flight into Louisiana. They flew in a doctor.. I did ask him if it was safe to fly in due to the wind and rain and he assured me that it was. I pray that everything goes as smoothly as possible.

**Update**

Everything went very well. They flew into New Orleans International and he said, I've driven by that airport, has to be, a million times and I never imagined that I'd be landing a plane on one of those runways."

He told me that it was eerily void of planes and that it was just strange. They flew in from the north (over Slidell and Metairie) and he said that there wasn't a house in Slidell that didn't have a blue tarp on it and that Metairie was now dry. I forgot to ask him about the condition of the Causeway but I'll ask when he gets home today.They landed in 30-35 mph winds. He said it was one of the hardest, yet fullfilling, landings to date.

I Hate Paula Dean

She can just go to hell with her hot fudge banana cream what-ever-the-fuck else sundaes. Yeah, and she can take her little biscuit cups and shove them up her happy little ass. Oh and those pizzas; don't let me even get started on the fucking little pizzas.

Ok, so Paula Dean is not the devil but she's damn close. After all, she can make all this fabulous food that in turn makes me think of things I can make and eat (read: gorge my-fucking-self with). It's just not fair.

I hate having to watch what I eat. Why can't I just be one of those assholes that have a fast metabolism and that can eat french bread for hours straight. WHY? Why'd I have to have the genes that are condusive to keeping me FAT? Someone tell me. TELL ME NOW!

"Mama, Guess What?"

"Mama, guess what?"

"What?"

"I just saved a whole bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico!"

"Really now? That's cool, Benny!"

Incompetance!

On Wednesday night before the show we went to dinner and aftewards we went to have a cup of coffee. Jordyn's granmother, Sally, bought me dinner so it was the least I could do to offer to pay for coffee and dessert. We went to this place in Atlanta called The Gregorian Terrace and had a HORRIBLE server named Erica. To add to it, the ever so brilliant and delightful, Erica (NOT!) ran my card through twice, charging me double. I am seething right now. I called the bank and they told me what to do and that there are dispute papers being sent but the best thing to do would be to call the bar and ask them to fix it. I did just that but they won't be able to do anything until Monday morning. The manager-on-duty said he'd call when everything was done but YOU KNOW I'm calling them back first thing Monday morning.

I hate bad servers.

But, moreso, I hate INCOMPETANCE.

[in my best Napolean Dynamite voice, directed at Erica] "Ya freakin' idiot. Sheeesh."

Wednesday Night

It was such a great night. The company I kept was exquisite and I think I have forged a nice beginning to a great friendship with Jordyn.

Sometimes I wish that I could live in a big city. The feeling I get from them are different. I mean, I love the country. I feel that if I had a nice log cabin in the woods by a mountain and a stream that I'd be set but then when I visit a city I think that I could definitely live in a city and be fine.

Atlanta is beautiful. The buildings are beautiful and the feel of the city is very historical to me. We had dinner at the Pleasant Peasant and the feel of that small establishement was very old yet refined as most are in the heart of New Orleans. It was splendid.

I looked like the shiz-nit, too! My hair was perfectly coiffed, my outfit was modernly fashioable, my jewlery chic and my make up perfect. I even waxed and plucked earlier in the day.

When I walked into Michelle's house to drop the kids off she literally had to pick her jaw up off the floor to tell me how beautiful I looked. She couldn't stop staring at me. I was giddy with that "I'm-going-to-a-dance-at-church" feeling. This feeling went away after the church dances became nothing but up until a certain point I would be almost vommitting, I was so excited. I felt this way on Wednesday night.

Written on Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I am going out! I'm actually fucking going out. I'm going to dress up. I'm going to put make up on and I might even wear a dark lipstick. I'm going to have a nice dinner out and then I'm going to see Phantom of the Opera. I'm so fucking excited, I can hardly contain myself.Here's to new friends, new experiences and new freedom. YAY! I won't be prisoner to being Mama. Tonight. I am Me!!!

Something I Found in my Documents

So, I sat there. And I thought about life and all kinds of things that come into play. How everything goes back to how it was supposed to be in the first place. You get that call and you are taken back to a time. We’ve all experienced it. You might be experiencing it right now. Life. Where does it start and when does it end? Think about it, both questions are very hard to answer.

Searching for "Mecca"

Written on: Sunday, September 18, 2005

Yesterday I looked up the directions to the closest Aldi again b/c I wanted to get out there to get some staples. I was wanting to go yesteday afternoon but was too beat (read: Karate and watching 7 kids KICKED MY FUCKING ASS). So, I was pleased to see on the website that our Aldi was open on Sundays from 12-6pm."Kids, we're going to Aldi's. Get your shoes on, make a pee, let's go.", and we're off.The drive is about 30 minutes. Well worth the milage for the price of cereal bars, granola bars, whole wheat bread, dog treats, canned goods and chicken tenderloins; not to mention they have those awesome cheddar brats and turkey bacon! On the way there we stopped at Walmart (and I got a couple Avon catalogs out) and then to my pal Linda's (to give her and her mom a catalog). From Lindalu's we headed down to The Mecca of Cheap Food!I had to call my other pal, Michelle, to find out if I was going the right way and LUCKILY her husband was home to take the call. He informed that I was going the wrong way and told me which way to go and such. So, I finally get to Mecca and there isn't one single car in the parking lot.

What the shit, man?

It's closed.

What the fuck do you mean it's closed?

The website said it was to be open.

This is bunk. Bunk, I say.

So, I call back my directional advisor Mike (Michelle's husband). I asked if he could go "on the line" and see if there were any others close by. I wait a few minutes to call back (read: dial up sucks squirrel nuts) and he says that their website is not working.

What the shit, man?

It's not working?

What the fuck do you mean it's not working?

The website was working just yesterday.

This is bunk.Bunk, I say.

Mike advises me to go a few more miles to another Mecca. Maybe that one is open? We hope. I get the directions (thank you, o wise one) and finally get there. The lights are on. It's gotta be open. The kids exclaim that it's open. I believe it's open and then I pull all the way in. SHIT. It's closed. This trip to Mecca sucked. I'd love to say I'm never going back but the allure of the low-low prices are too strong.

Do You Know the Wonder of Pocky?

Michael and I fell in love with Pocky when we would go to this Vietnamese store in New Orleans. I honestly can't remember what we used to buy there OTHER than Pocky.

Well, lowe and behold, our Walmart (of all places) sells Pocky for 88 cents a box. They have the regular chocolate kind as you see here to the left but they also have the yummy strawberry kind. It's just such a wonderful little treat and beats out any candy-type treat, IMO.

So, my new resolution, which was formulated while shopping for Benny's birthday present, is that I will buy a box of Pocky for those I love whenever I get a chance and that the kids will get a box of Pocky for their birthday. So, you must be ware for a box of Pocky might show up in your mailbox someday. And, when that day comes you will be so in love with it that you will want more and more and more and more.

Long live Pocky and all Pocky products!!!

I Don't Understand My Mother Sometimes

My goodness gracious! I called her to tell her that I was thinking about going up to visit at the end of October for about 10 days. She says, "Well, if you can't you really don't have to." What the fuck? I was calling to TELL HER that the kids and I were WANTING to come, not that we we trying to find a way and that it was like wading through spikes to do it. She went on and on about how it's a long drive, it's boring for the kids, it's tiring for me, yadda yadda blah blah blah.

Finally, I said, "Mom! Look. We want to come visit. One week is better than NO week?"

And she replied with, "Yeah, you're right."

Now, I know that she's [mildly depressed] and all she's looking is for me to rant and rave about how we want to come b/c our visits are special and full of fun and that we really really really really REALLY want to see them. But, for fuck's sake, woman, don't torture yourself. Say, "Ok sweetheart, I'll send you some gas money and you and the kids can visit us and we'll go to Pumpkinville, the movies, to Duff's, to church etc.. etc.. etc.."

[In the Napoleon Dynamite voice] Shhhhhaaa Ya flippin' idiot!

Way to Make a Woman Feel Good!!

Today Olivia had Brownies. We walked in and everyone was already there. So, Livey joined the group and I stood behind the couches and said a few hellos to fellow mamas. Off the bat one of the moms paid me a compliment about how good I looked. I was red in the face, a little. Then another mom stopped me and said "Wow, you are looking GREAT!" Ho dee diddle dee dum!! Compliments from the left. Compliments from the right. I loves it, dontchaknow!

Non-jocks, Dribbling and Penises.. Oh My!

I don't think either boy will be a professional basketball playa!

So-freaking-what?

Benny and Mikey had basketball yesterday. They both had a hard time dribbling but Mikey got it more than his little bro did. Also, Mikey's class was smaller and each child got more one-on-one.

Don't get me wrong, they had fun, I just don't think they will be proffessional Shaqs or Jordans.

I did get quite pissed off during Benny's class, though. There was this big cyclops-of-a-kid that kept taking the balls from the younger boys. Benny and this other boy just stood there watching as cyclops went down the gym, time and time again. I could seriously feel my blood boiling and there might even have been steam coming out of my ears. I eventually got up and walked over to inform one of the "coaches" what I was witnessing. By then dribbling session of the class was over. Yay Coaches for being able to watch and teach 30, 4 to 6 year olds. UGH.

I did try to locate the cyclops's parents so that I might give them the evil eye but I was unsuccessful. I'll try harder next week.

During Mikey's class, Olivia, Benny and I went up to the track that is above the gym and walked a mile. We saw Mikey make a basket and whoop-whooped it up for him. He smiled so brightly! Well, after our walk we sat in the bleachers watching. One little boy, whom was in Benny's class, came down and was talking to Benny about Thomas the Tank Engine. He was a sweet little boy but he kept fondling his genetalia. His mother would scold from way up in the stands and I'd giggle, feeling her pain for I once had a four year old son who was so obssessed with his penis that I had to physically remove his hand from his pants on more than one occassion. I just tried my best to focus on Sean's eyes and not his hands. Apparently, according to what his mom said when we were leaving the gym, he flashed us. She just shook her head.

I just giggled and said, "I think if we had 'em we'd be touching 'em all the time, too!"

Thoughfully she said "You're right. See you next week."

Let Me Introduce You To...

...Avon's newest and most green sales representative!! She's got all it takes to make this work and, by God, she's going to give it her fucking best. She might not get rich but she is assuring those around her that she's going to do what she can to make it a successful enterprise.

She also doesn't know where she's going with this but she's just going! Here's to enjoying the ride. ;)

Birthday Party Day

Today we are having one family of friends (and I ain't talkin' smack *wink*nudge*poke*) over for Benny's birthday.

Lays Chips - check
French Onion Dip - check
Cheese Dip - check
Frito Scoops - check
Burgers (for grill) - check
Hot Dogs (for grill) - check
Buns - check
Mustard, Ketchup, Onions, Tomatoes, Relish - check, check, check, check
Donuts - check
Out-of-this-World Police Man Cake - check
Chocolate Ice Cream - check
Plates, Napkins, Cups, Utensils - check
Birthday Boy Balloon - check
Favors for guests - check
Arts and Crafts - check
Games - check

Now, let's party!!!!!

No One Told Me

No one told me that it was going to be so hard to be a mother.
No one told me that there were going to be days that I wished I wasn't.
No one told me that I'd have to pick my battles with my children.
No one told me that I'd laugh until my sides hurt.
No one told me that these creatures were going to be so demanding and yet so unconditionally loving.
No one told me that there would be many days that my adequacy as a mother would be in question.
No one told me that there would be days that I'd lock myself in the bathroom to escape.
No one told me that I'd be a short order cook much less that I'd learn to actually cook.
No one told me that laundry could pile up so much that it would take a mid-size bulldozer to get it out of the way.
No one told me anything; not one itty bitty thing!
There are some things I've had to learn, feelings I've gone through, fears I've had and continue to have, headaches that pound, mistakes that are made, victories that are won, you name it -it goes on and on...
Motherhood is hard and no one told me that I'd question if I was good at it, daily.

My Benny-Boo

Yesterday Benny was getting dressed as we were going to run some errands. He was talking about what kind of cool dude he was and how Mikey was cool, Livey was cool and Papa was cool. So, naturally, I asked "is Mama cool?". He clearly and quickly said "Nope... You're BEAUTIFUL!" Be still my beating heart. ::swoon::

He's so sweet and in about 4 days he's turning 5. My baby is turning 5. I can't believe how fast these years have gone. One moment I'm breastfeeding him and just amazed that I have these three little "babies". That's all they were, babies (all at once or so it seemed) and now I have this big boy who is learning phonics and calling his Mama "beautiful".

Today I got upset with Mikey because Olivia said that he hit her with his pirate sword. Well, what Olivia failed to tell me was that Mikey didn't hit her on PURPOSE, he did it on accident. I flipped. Dude, I fucking flipped. I had to walk away. Benny came up to me and hugged me and said "You're the best Mama" and I said "no, I'm not, Benny" and he said "Don't say that, Mama, you are the best. I love you." ::double swoon::

That's just his nature. I wish him to always be so sweet, sensitive and caring. I wish that his life is full of happy things that make him into the best person ever. I have no doubt that he would be anything less than the best. My baby Bennyboo is one awesome kid and we were definitely blessed with him in September 2000.

2nd Serious Consideration

I'm considering putting some FUNKED OUT streaks of color in my hair.. OMG, I'm hitting a mid-life crisis. Next thing you know I'll be piercing my nose, brow and belly button!

Ok, so that last part is a bit outlandish but I am considering getting some funky color chunks in my hair. I would like feedback, s'il vous plait!

Serious Consideration

I have been thinking for a long time now about what I could do from home to provide a bit of an income. I really would love to have something that I could do and not have it eat into my time with the kids, for school/activities and the like.

I'm considering being an "Avon Lady". I don't know if it's right for me but I do love make up, Avon is my favorite and I think I could actually sell it.

So, there ya have it. I could be a World Leader of Avon someday.. Wait. Watch. See.

**UPDATE**
I talked to a friend and her Team Leader ( I think that's what she was ) about Mary Kay.

I am going to weigh my options and see which job might suit me the best!

Rock Star INXS

GO MARTY!!!

The Old House, part III

These are the stairs that led up to the full bath, the hall where we had a changing table for a long long time and the boys' and the girl's room!







Mikey and Benny's Room:



The kids would wake up in the morning and the way I would wake up was by their matchbox cars zooming on the hardwood floor. "Time to wake up, Mama!"

Olivia's Room:




It was a sweet little house! I still miss it but I'm glad I have tons of pictures to remember and feel it again!

Love These Dogs!

Sadie Girl Lane & Summer Girl Lane

How could you not love them? They are funny, sweet, loveable and just plain awesome!!!

My God, My God, My God

It's so sad. I'm watching this coverage on Oprah and I've just burst into tears about five times, so far. Oh my God, it's so fucking sad. I'm sick about it. It's been over a week and I'm still feeling really bad about what happened in New Orleans due to the aftermath of Katrina. I don't discount that horrible stuff happened in MS and AL but in New Orleans -my oh my- it was just so bad, heartbreaking, mind boggling and horrible. *sigh*

Guests Are Gone

It's too bad that they had to leave so soon but school is resuming and their mom came and got them. The kids had a BLAST with their cousins. We're definitely going to have to visit - in the winter because any other time in Louisiana is HOT and I ain't doin' dat kinda hot!

The Old House, part II

The Living Room, part 2.. This was looking towards the hallway that let to our bedroom, the 1/2 bath and the door to the basement


Our Bedroom: Looking into it from the hallway. It was a small bedroom and I love that we can walk around the bed in this house but it was a nice room. I loved the hardwood floors and wish that we would have been able to have had hardwood all over the house. One day, we'll live in a house that has w-2-w hardwood flooring!


This was where we eventually set up our computer. There was a cool air duct on the floor by the window (behind the chair in this picture) and Benny used to find my jewlery and put it down there. When we moved there was a ton of change and some Mardi Gras beads in there. This room was an obnoxious pink when we moved into the house. Even the ceiling was pink. I think it took Michael 5-6 coats of paint to be rid of the Pepto Bismal Walls (the same color that the 1/2 bath was).



Looking down the hall from our bedroom. Door on right leads to the basement. Across from that door, on the left, is the 1/2 bath. Just a bit pink, eh?





This goes from the dining room to the living room and beyond the wall, immediately to the right was the staircase leading up to the full bath, hall and kids' rooms!

That front door was seldomly used. Halloween and sometimes when I'd go sit on the front porch to talk on the phone and smoke a cigarette.

Neighbor Julie

Our neighbor, Julie, whom I haven't seen all summer long finally resurfaced yesterday. She's something else; very funny and easy to talk to. I made the both of us some margaritas and we chit-chatted for a while. She left for a few minutes because she had to find her little doggie but came back for another 1/2 hour. When she came back she brought me a tape of her music. The cover is pretty psychadellic, man!

K&B

K&B was the bomb of all stores.
It's too bad that they no longer exist but what a horrible sight it would have been to see them flooded. A piece of New Orleans history right there. I will be ordering a tee-shirt with this emblem on it.

It will be my new fave tee-shirt when all is said and done!

Tonight...

I will be, essentially, a mother of 5 (8 if you count the pilot and the dogs).

Christopher & JoJo (nephews from LA) will be over with Michael after he gets out of work and gets them from his mom's house. The kids are STOKED! They just can't wait to spend times with their cousins and that is just very heart warming (I almost typed warm hearting). It's gonna be a fun week, I'm sure!! I say that with all sincerity and no sarcasm. I swear.

I'm still kinda feeling cloudy in the head from all this Hurricane Katrina aftermath. I have just turned to the Food Network. I think I need to seriously detox from the news and what better way to do that than with BOBBY-fucking-FLAY!

Friend Kiara was going to come over so that we could go to the beach but she lives in Lawrenceville (read: Bumfuckegypt) and she said she really didn't have much gas and we're all about conservation these days, aren't we now? So, I just need to do something. I've called Friend Michelle and hopefully we can do something (the beach, the pool, whatever). I. Just. Need. To. Get. Out. Or. I. Might. Explode.

Okily-dokily. Ciao for now. I must put my culinary skills to mad use (read: make lunch).

The Boss Makes the Best!

Who's "The Boss" you might ask? I'm not talking about Bruce Springstein. For the Lane family members know who the TRUE BOSS is: Me!

Lately Olivia has taken to calling me "The Boss". That girl is the fucking genius of the family, don'tchaknow! She finds any occassion to tell Papa how Mama's the boss and he's not. Basically she tells him to stuff it. Hahaha *pointing at the pilot* snicker, laugh, howl...

This morning I decided to treat the chi'ren to a breakfast of all breakfasts. I made easy-over eggs for Mikey and scrambled (with feta) for Livey and I. Mikey and I had green olives and he had some sliced ham. Livey, Benny and I had some lovely turkey sausages and the kids all had a piece of toast. Benny will still not give eggs a chance. However, he now eats pasta with red sauce so I'm not fucking complaining. The breakfast was complete with ketchup, Juicy Juice and coffee (pour moi). Benny sat in my seat so he was Mama. Mikey sat in the pilot's seat so he was Papa and Olivia sat in her own seat thus declaring her the WINNER! I sat in our guest seat making me anyone I want to be. Hmmm.. Whom shall I be? Let me think. I think I'll be Angelina Jolie. That way I can look at myself in the mirror for hours and masterbate thus making Angelina Jolie have multiple orgasms. But, I digress.

Back to the topic at hand.

While eating Olivia looks over at me and says "My Boss makes everything the Best!"

Let it be known from this day forward that I AM THE BEST! My daughter said so and she is a fucking genius, don'tchaknow!

Awwwwwww....

My husband is so great! He ordered me a subscription to Redbook! I just got my first issue.

Note to self:
Self, kiss the pilot when he comes home tonight!

Uncertainty

I cannot even wrap my mind around the turn of events down in LA. So many people have lost their homes and it's just unimaginable. Many more have lost more than that. It's so turbulant. I have the childish thought of "can't I just go to sleep, wake up and it will be over" and then I remember that slumber will not make all of this a nightmare; it indeed happened.

I've caught myself shaking my head a lot lately. A good portion New Orleans is gone. Who knows if it will ever be able to be re-established. Uncertainty abounds and it's quite frightening to me. I just think that something like this can happen anytime. It doesn't have to be a natural disaster but shit like this can happen to anyone, anywhere. Quite honestly, it scares the fucking happiness out of me.

Then on the other side of the coin I have these three wonderful extensions of life around me. I have a man whom with one look let's me know that I am so important to him and loved immensely. I have parents, with their worrying thoughts and all, that care enough to give all that we need when we need it and love unconditionally. I have friends that bring joy to my life as opposed to toxicity. I have my mind. I have my body. I have my soul. I have everything I need to bring happiness back in. And, still, I shake my head and worry.

I need to stay grounded with the SFU lesson:

LIVE FOR TODAY, KEEP HOPE ALIVE, TAKE CHANCES, LOVE ALWAYS and CHERISH YOUR LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE YOU LOVE.

A Disturbing Issue

I noticed in one of my pictures of New Orleans I have Fucking Torpedo Tits. Here's the deal, yo. I was much fatter and my stomach poked upwards spreading my FTT's out to either side. ::puke::

[deep breath]
I am very happy to report that I no longer have said Fucking Torpedo Tits. There are 50lbs that need to still be shed but at least I don't suffer from the debilitating FTT.[/deep breath]

Evening Coffee

Tonight, this is how I am going to deal. I am going to drink coffee!

Oh and...

The TV's still on. Thank goodness the kids are very happy with their legos, puzzles, books, crayons, markers, paper and playdough.

I think after dinner we should go to the park to get some fresh air. It would do me good to circulate my blood.

Will They or Won't They?

God I hope that New Orleans is salvagable.

I just can't imagine telling my grandchildren (or, fuck, my children for that matter b/c they probably won't remember it) about the city and about how it died after Hurricane Katrina hit it at the end of August 2005. I can't help but well up with tears when I even think about it.

My first trip to New Orleans was with Michael in 1994. I'm almost ashamed to admit it but I didn't even KNOW of New Orleans prior to meeting him. How pathetic, right? The birthplace of jazz, the cultural mecca, the place where the good times roll, the food, the people, the mix, the history. How I didn't know of it baffles me but I digress.

That first visit and I was sold. I wanted more and more and more. In 1996 I got more. We moved there. We lived there for two years and I'm sad that I didn't do more with my time there but I was also away from home for the first time in my life. I was newly married and it was all so different for me. I just didn't do enough. I didn't write enough. I didn't sit in enough coffee shops. I didn't make friends that I know I could have made. Dammit all.

After we got pregnant and decided to move back to NY, I mourned it. At one point I *almost* tried to convince Michael that we shouldn't move back but plans were already set in motion. I wonder how things would have turned out if we stayed. I wish we had. I wish. I wish. I wish. Wishes don't count for shit, though.

Everytime I've visited the city, though, I have felt at home. It was a place I felt so comfortable and so at ease. And, now it might be gone. It seems logical for it not to be rebuilt but what a fucking loss that would be. *sigh* And, now they say that our economy is going to be affected. I'm just so sick of it already. I'm thinking an asteroid sounds pretty good right now.

This is just so incredibly depressing. I really do have a glimmer of hope for New Orleans. Maybe the Quarter will be saved and New Orleans will just be a tiny community of people who chance living there. I dunno. Can we just fast forward a couple years already?

Must. Shut. TV. Off.

I am currently addicted to watching coverage on Fox News Channel. If I shut it off I feel that I am missing something and if I keep it on my head feels all fucked up.

Blah.

Good Morning

I really love the way that Benny snuggles up against me. He's such a little love-bunny and I just eat his warmth up.

I'm on cup three of coffee. I thank New Orleans for giving me the love of coffee. Before that I never drank coffee and quite often professed disgust for the black elixir. Not any more. Man, if I didn't have my coffee, watch out!

Watching the coverage of the situations in New Orleans are very sad but I read some interesting blogs from people located in Uptown. It was good to read that some have power (via generators), food and that they have a little tap water that they can boil and consume.

My heart hurst for the people suffering over there. I can't even begin to verbalize how I feel but anger has set in. Why didn't helicopters drop massive amounts of water on I10 by the Superdome? It's just bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Horrible. Bad.

I'm going to end with a good note:

Michael just called and he said his mother called him this morning to discuss how the best way to get into MS would be. She's going to meet with Lana (Michael's sister) to get the boys. Lana said that looters have filtered into their area (around Baton Rouge) and the boys are not safe and they want them out. So, he asked if I minded if the boys stayed with us during the week. What do you think Mr. Lane? Of course I don't mind. I love those boys! They are family!

Family. Didn't I just learn that lesson with that Six Feet Under finale. Why, yes. Yes, I did!

Memory Lane

I'm taking myself back to New Orleans. That culturally rich, fantastic city that once was. I pray that they can salvage it and I pray that one day I walk the famed streets again.

The Torment

Mikey is currently assaulting the dog with a bouncy ball. The little shiznit knows full well that Summer eats bouncy balls like he eats cheese puffs. The dog's tail is wagging uncontrollably. She will get that ball. While the children sleep she will creep into their rooms, searching for this orange ball, she'll find it and eat it and then we'll have shit and puke to contend with. Thanks for tormenting the dog, Mikey, thanks! Woo woo.

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